The Truth No One Told Me About My First Moment as a Mother

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 Khulumbai!


Being a mother is often described as the most beautiful feeling in the world, and it truly is. But sometimes, even this beautiful feeling comes with moments that make you quietly question yourself.

I want to be brutally honest about something I’ve never really said out loud.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was genuinely happy. There was excitement, hope, and so many dreams about the little life growing inside me. I had already imagined my baby in a certain way - soft, chubby cheeks, smooth skin, always smiling… just like the babies we see in movies and TV shows.

But when I first saw my daughter after delivery, I felt something I wasn’t prepared for.

Yes, I was happy… but there was also a strange sadness inside me.

I remember looking at her and thinking, is this really my baby?
She wasn’t what I had imagined. Her skin had rashes, she wasn’t that “perfect” movie-like baby I had built in my mind. And in that moment, I felt confused and even disappointed… feelings that no mother ever talks about.

Growing up, no one tells you that newborns don’t always look like those picture-perfect babies. No one prepares you for that reality.

For a long time, I kept this to myself. I never told my husband how I felt in those first moments. I carried that guilt silently. But when my daughter was about a month old, I finally opened up to him.

And by then… everything had already changed.

I had fallen deeply in love with her, every little detail, every imperfection, every tiny expression. And when I looked back at my initial thoughts, I felt so ashamed. So guilty.

I remember holding her close and saying sorry to her again and again, a thousand times over, for even having those thoughts.

Today, when I think about it, I realize… motherhood is not just about love at first sight. Sometimes, it’s about growing into that love. It’s about unlearning unrealistic expectations and embracing reality - raw, imperfect, and incredibly beautiful.

And if any mother out there has ever felt something similar, I just want to say... Dear, you are not alone. 


Thank you 

Love, 

Mainu


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Location: India

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